BEHIND THOSE EYES

김형준 <3

2011-06-21T07:51:00.001-07:00

I so freaking love my life and my hand. Lol lol. Why my hand? Cos hyung jun high fived my RIGHT HAND!! :DD i love him so much okay. I was on the second row and everytime he looked in my direction. Ahhh!!!! I could faint.... And when i collected my poster. Ahhh!!!! I stunned when he looked at me. Then. He stared back. Hahaha!! Few seconds of silence there. Hehe. Epic. I was the first to collect the poster! If only he rmb me... :(( really need to thank trixie, her sister and friend for letting me go first :D he's so cute!!!! I'll never forget his gaze. If i could use my christmas wish now... I would wish for him to rmb me and come singapore again! :DDD. Oppa saranghae <3

김형준!!!!

2011-06-15T03:49:00.001-07:00

AHHHHHHH!!!!! KIM HYUNG JUN, MAKNAE OF SS501 IS COMING TO SINGAPORE TMR!! :D i hink i'll go airport to fetch him :) after all, i made the board alr, so dont waste! Haha!! Im just afraid it'll clash with my tuition... Sucks. Seriously. Its the hols! Why must i have tuition!! :(( nvm i'll just pray to god. I really hope i can make it! Ahhh!! *wish* :) amen :) okay done :))

Btw, he looks really hot in the photo, doesnt he look like a prince??
;DD

life

2011-05-26T00:54:00.001-07:00

I know i havent been blogging for ages. But being in sec4 just makes me so tired that i dont wanna blog anymore. Im so tired of things recently. My results suck and everything seems to be going wrong :(( my L1R5 is like 39?? Impossible right... Why am i so dumb?!?! :((( i wanna score well so badly :((( and i have a new resolution! Haha! I shall start working hard now towards my dream ;) hehe. I think im gonna go singing classes in june ;) i wanna be famous in korea!! :))

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Post Created Mar 16, 23 Heisei 6:21:38 PM

2011-03-16T03:17:00.001-07:00

Hey. You know what?
What?
I wanna love you like nobody's business.
If only you knew how much i love you.
Boy you are my future.
No matter how many times you've hurt me i'll still stay the same.
Even if you've moved on, i'll still stay the same.
Am i dumb?
Yes i am.
I know i am.
Waiting for something that will never return....
I think im the dumbest person alive :(

do you know

2011-03-12T05:53:00.001-08:00

Do you know?

Do you know what it feels like loving someone
That's in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know?
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one
To know the lock on the door has changed
Do you know?

If birds flying south's a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year
Love, you never know the minute it ends
Suddenly I can't get it to speak

Maybe find you all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes 'til I see there's something about me
I'm standing on the edge and I don't know what else to give

Post Created Mar 6, 23 Heisei 6:07:06 PM

2011-03-06T02:02:00.001-08:00

I love today .
First , because i studied a little for ss .
Second , i have his number .
Third , i studied for emath .
Fourth , i studied for amath .
Fifth , i wasnt tired during my ss tuition today (:
Sixth , my new phone is sooo cooolll (:
Seventh , alot of happy things happened today . Its uncountable (: for once , i truly love my life . I love myself !! (: although im retarded and dumb but its cool ! :D i shall make a style ! Retardism is the new cool ! Heehee (: (: (: so happy ! :)

Post Created Mar 5, 23 Heisei 7:27:10 PM

2011-03-05T03:22:00.001-08:00

HOHOHO !!! The happy outgoing cheerful nice and all GLADYS GONG JU is back all in one !! (: she was sad yesterday , but because of her pretty babes , she isnt ad now ! (: a super duper big thank you to all of you yesterday (: i was very lucky to have all of you by my side . Without all of my friends i wouldnt know what would happen to me . THANK YOU ALL !! :D heheheh anddd i bought a new PHOONE !! PHOONE !! Hahaha !! :D

Post Created Mar 3, 23 Heisei 9:55:25 PM

2011-03-03T05:51:00.001-08:00

Do you know how it feels when someone truly wholeheartedly compliments you ? And when the whole world ignores you that someone is always there for you . But you took him for granted and when he's gone you then feel the pain . But all is too late . Time cant be rewind . Some things just cant start all over again . " in the arithmatic of love , one plus one equals everything and two minus one equals nothing" . Awww so sweet ! (:

heartbeat .

2011-02-26T08:02:00.001-08:00

Heartbeat
Heartbeat, heart, heartbeat
Heartbeat, heartbeat
Heartbeat, heart, heartbeat

I saw you talking on the phone
I know that you were not alone
But you're stealing my heart away
Yeah, you're stealing my heart away

You're acting like you're on your own
But I saw you standing with a girl
Stop tryin' to steal my heart away
Stop tryin' to steal my heart away

I don't know where we're going
I don't know who we are

I can feel your heartbeat
I can feel your heartbeat
(He said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(Running through me)
Feel your heartbeat
(She said)

I can feel your heartbeat
(She said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(She said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(Running through me)
Heartbeat, feel your heartbeat

Maybe it's the way you move
You got me dreaming like a fool
That I could steal your heart away
I could steal your heart away

No matter what it is your think
I'm not a kind of girl to blink
And give my heart away
Stop tryin' to steal my heart away

I don't know where we're going
I don't know who we are

I can feel your heartbeat
(He said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(He said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(Running through me)
Heartbeat, feel your heartbeat
(She said)

I can feel your heartbeat
(She said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(She said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(Running through me)
(Feel your heartbeat)

Stop stealing my heart away
Stop stealing my heart away
Stop stealing my heart away
You're stealing my heart away

I don't know where we're going
I don't know who we are
Feels like we were floatin'
High above the stars
(Stars, the stars, the stars, the stars)

Heartbeat
Heartbeat, heart, heartbeat
I can feel it, I can feel it, I can feel it
I can feel it, I can

I can feel your heartbeat
(He said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(He said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(Running through me)
Your heartbeat, feel your heartbeat
(She said)

I can feel your heartbeat
(She said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(She said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat
(Running through me)
Your heartbeat, feel your heartbeat, beat, beat

Stop stealing my heart away
(Tell it to me, girl)
Stop stealing my heart away
(Ooh, give it to me, boy)
Stop stealing my heart away
(Just say it to me, girl)
You're stealing my heart away

Stop stealing my heart away
(I can feel your heartbeat)
Stop stealing my heart away
(I can feel your heartbeat)
Stop stealing my heart away
(I can feel your heartbeat)
Your heartbeat, your heartbeat

why not me ?

2011-02-25T07:32:00.001-08:00

Escaping nights without you
With shadows on the wall
My mind is running wild
Tryin hard not to fall
You told me that you love me
But say im just a friend
My heart is broken up into pieces
Cos i know i'll never free my soul
Its trapped between true love
And being alone
When my eyes are closed
The greatest story told
I woke and my dreams are shattered here on the floor

Why oh why tell me why not me
Why oh why
We were meant to be
Baby i know i could be all you need
Why oh why oh why
I wanna love you
If you only knew how much i love you
So why not me

cross country (:

2011-02-25T02:35:00.001-08:00

First of all おめでとう to all my friends that won a prize !! (: went out today with all my darlings ! :D bought gina and claire a macha chiffon cake at clarke quey (: also bought them a present ! So once again , tanjobi omedeto !! (: and i bought so many things at kinokuniya !!! :D its so cool there , so many japanese stuff !! (:
And even though my dream was dashed nvm at least i tried (:

2010-11-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

yoo hoo yoo hoo !
dyed my hair ! :D :D
ANDANDAND I LOVE YOU YUNQI!
YUPEEE!
OMG
i cant believe we sent tegoshi a present!!!
im so freaking happy !
I WILL ALSO SEND MASU PRESENT NXT YR!
:D
hmmm okay its so early now so
bye i have nothing to say
(LOL)

2010-10-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

WOOHOO!!
finally back to blog :D
after a reaaalll loooong time
today was such a wreck.
i dont want this kind of things to happen to all my friends
you all may not realise it
but i treasure all of you alot.
i cant imagine the days without all of you.
you were the ones who stood beside me unwaveringly
always giving me support, advice
and always listening to me talk crap and all those retarded stuff.
you know i want to help you all so much that im going (crazy)
i want to do sth but i cant
idk what to do.
ugh. do you know how much it hurts when your closests people leaves?
sigh sigh sigh.
anw to all my babies and friends:
ITS OKAY ITS ALRIGHT. AND KEEP FIGHTING.
i know this may not be enough to comfort you all
but if you think again it seriously means alot.
okay im bad at comforting ppl.
and iloveyou all :) :D :*

2010-09-28T20:30:00.000-07:00

Thank You Trixie! :D
i saw your post
ahahah im so touched
seriously i am (:
Andandand im trying not to care even though it hurts alot.
okay im really pathetic
fine im a loser so what
i dont give a damn if thats what you think of me
i plucked up my courage and said that
but all you think of me is someone fickle minded
seriously ive changed
what can i do to make you believe
i dont even think you will actually
as in cant you tell?
isnt it obvious enough?
ive never once changed okay if you dont know
i know im pathetic but i just cant help it it
seriously stop being such an ass
be more serious okay.

2010-09-20T18:11:00.000-07:00

i thought about what you said
maybe that isnt such a bad idea
maybe giving up isnt as hard as i expected it to be
maybe when i wake up tmr those feelings would disappear
maybe maybe maybe...
i know i sound like i dont want to
but i seriously want to
i bet you dont even know how i feel
i swear i wont be in these knid of situations ever again
seriously EVER AGAIN.
actually maybe i never really liked you?
yeah maybe that would be better
you would be really happy
right? i guess?
sigh okay idk what to do now.
just SOMEONE HELP ME.

2010-09-07T04:06:00.000-07:00

suddenly thought of when i was a kid
it was so great then
i had no worries and stuff
but as we grow up
we take up responsibilities
sigh
i wished i had cherished those moments more
i dont feel like growing up
having to endure those sufferings
okay i know im being immature
yes i should stop being so childish
i should start focusing on what i want to do
someone asked me what i wanted to be
i was so shocked that i didnt even know the answer
im like fifteen already
i should seriously do something about my life
argh
its so screwd
i dont know where to start
forget it
anyway im studying very hard now! :D
gosh im so lame
hahaha

2010-09-04T00:32:00.000-07:00

finally know what you are thinking
so now i know
all you think of me is a joke
do you think its okay to joke about those stuff?
stupid
omfg
seriously no matter how bad you think of me
how can it be a joke?
are you that dumb to even realise anything?
how can i not be serious?
do i sound like or look like im kidding about that?
how could it be?
how long has it been already?
think about it yourself.
no matter what you do
i control
no matter how much you hurt my heart
i control
am i not serious enough?
seriously i hate this
today is freaking screwed
i cried when i was bathing
freaking hell
seriously i want it to be the last day i cry
cos of something like that
i know im really dumb
noone even understands a single thing
how is it possible to give up so easily
its not just saying 'i want to give up'
and kaboom you gave up -.-
you all keep telling me to give up
i am! im trying sososo hard i feel like stopping
its so suffocating
i want to escape from here
everything here
but tell me how to
omg what should i do.

2010-08-30T23:20:00.000-07:00

today is so freaking fun
HAHAHA
i bought some balloons from choir
then after that i sucked in some helium gas
hahah
omg then when i spoke
it was totally like squeeking or sth
then after that everyone laughed at me
haha omg
i even recorded my voice in my phone!

then after school i went to watch the teachers' day rehearsal
actually i didnt want to watch it okay
just that i wanted to accompany my friend
see im so nice right
omg im so bhb
lol

okay i dont know what to write alr
byebye

2010-08-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

AWWW .

THIS IS SO SWEEEETT! (:

today is so boring

i gotta do like 7 jian bao -.-

mygosh

i just wished i had done hw earlier

argh

even so its no use regretting now

bye then

shall do my jian bao now -.-

2010-08-28T00:59:00.000-07:00

Its amazing that sometimes people just regret things when they lose things .

omg what should i do
freak it.
okay i dont care anymore.
argh.
i always say that to myself
but it doesnt work at all.
sigh.
mygosh
ahhhahhh.
i wanna die.
argh.
okay forget it nvm.
omg then today is so argh.
can you believe it?
i forgot to take my wallet home.
i left it under my table!!!
ARGH .
kay bye.
its so super late now.

2010-08-20T15:49:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG OMFG.
WHAT SHOULD I DO
SERIOUSLY.
ARGH.
why must this always happen to me?
why?
i fell like dying.
it is so so so heart wrenching.
argh
help me.
peggy hlep me.
beini help.
AHHH.
i fell too depp and idk what to do...
argh forget it.
bye for now.
argh i feel like crying.

2010-08-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

ARGH.
IDK HOW TO EDIT THE XML HTML THING
FORGET IT .
STUPID THING -.-
nvm
anws i bought a new shoe from calvin klein! :D
OMG
idk what to blog about
today is so freaking boring
i have to do like five zuo wens
but i havent started on a single one yet
arghh.
then im also sick
i seriously hate having a sore throat.
okay nvm bye
shall blog again tmr

2010-08-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hear that??
THATS MY FAVOURITE SONG!!! :D
omg.
i found the song you know.
hahah.
freaking nice
im like listnening to it even now :D

Want to, but i cant help it
i love the way it feels
its got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
i need it when i want it
i want it when i dont
tell myself i'll stop everyday
knowin that i wont

i got a problem
and i dont know what to do about it
even if i did
i dont know if i would quit
but i doubt it
im taken by the thought of it
and i know this much is true
baby you have become my addiction
im so strung out on you

and its all because of you
and its all because
never get enough
she's the sweetest drug

think of it every second
i cant get nothing done
only concern is the next time
im gonna get me some
know i should stay away from
cos its no good for me
i try and try but my obsession wont let me leave

2010-08-06T17:59:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST AND LOVEST SISTER!! :D :D
muacks muacks. hope you enjoy today!
see im so nice i blog about you! (:

today is so crazy.
hahahah
hoolahoola :D
today is jenna's baday plus ndp celebrations (:
3RESPECT'10 i love you ttm!
rp today damn hyper siol.
hahah
celebration that time the guys sat on chair
hahah so cool right! :D
the guys in my class are so retarded :D
when saying pledge that time which is like sth solemn
omg at the last word yuheng suddenly scream!
OMG! damn funny
everyone was like looking at yihui.
hahah
then after that the my clique all sat on chair to take pics (:
we take so many pics
like nobody's business
hahah

then after that went to parkway with trina
needed to buy sth
then trina said she wanted to buy koi
but i didnt know wat 'koi' was
so i said it was p**
hahahah omg!
retarded leh!
then after that went to 77thstreet
saw mrs kuek and her husband at that floor!:D

oh!!!
today when i went home
i saw this damn hot guy! :D :D
he dye his hair and his hair is like quite long
then i act cool again
BUT TIME I DIDNT FALL DOWN!
:D :D :D
then after that the guy keep looking at me.
heeheehee :D

'true love never dies
it only gets stronger with time'

2010-08-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

ohmygawd okay i fell in the bathe tub like yesterday

and i swear it hurts ttm

okay nvm forget it

"Since when did you come around

and the temperature's changed

nothing's the same

left me in yesterday

you dont see me that way

touch me that way

no more

when d'you get so cold

im not sure just how much longer i can hold

you got me standin' at the bottom of this moutain

that we've made

and the ground is shakin from all of our mistakes

but there's no wall

nothin but us in our way

its a matter of time

we can rewind

if only you knew

what my heart goes through for you

im tryin to break through

dont you think its worth the chance

lets leave the past

is that too much too ask

and where do we stand

can we pull through this avalanche"

omg i freakin love this song :D

dont cry cos its over

smile cos it happened (:

2010-08-03T05:40:00.000-07:00

OMG. today is super crazy ! :D
yunqi and me laughed like some mad ppl :D
hahaha
we went to pinch of salt to to lunch
then went coming back to school
we sat taxi omg sth funny happened
cos i banged against the taxi then after that
when i wanted to show yunqi my bruise
i accidentally showed her my p****!!!
OMG
embarrassing!!! :D :D
hehehe.
damn funny
then after that come back school
saw trineh
hehehe
damn retarded
we went to the concourse
then after that
we were playin playin
then after that jenna hit yunqi's b***
then trineh hit mine!!!
hehehe
we were like some mad ppl :D
AWWSOMEEE!
i like.
laugh everyday like that kay (:
i seriously like it this way (:
kay thats all for now :D

Sister's birthday party! :D

2010-08-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

okay yesterday was fun! :D
want to coasta sands at about 7.
freaking cool (:
want to pasir ris park then this guy
idk who say go nightwalk
but end up,
there was nth.
haha then i was like afraid for nth.
omg im so dumb.
hahah. then at first i thought he not coming sia
then i sad sad sad.
hahah
then after that like 9plus liddat i cried
cos SOMEONE kept disturbing me then iwas like damn pissed
but nvm la.
hahaha thank you peggy!
FOR THE MAGIC KISS! :D
and jenna sister (:
heyy yuki, dont be sad kay.
i'll be there for you always (:
i know you love me ! :D

2010-07-17T03:44:00.000-07:00

I want to revive my blog! (:
yea its bazaar today
but its not really as fun as it was year before last.
omg.
i seriously dont like someone now.
she's such a biatch.
i mean wth luh.
i did like so many fucking things.
didnt you realise it?
okay nvm.enough of that.
my toe's hurting like hell now.
the bazaar was like damn tiring.
oh yea i still have 4bucks left.
haha
oh i painted my nails black! (:
sigh. today is like such a bad day.
nvm i'll listen to you luh.
i'll just ren okay?
THANK YOU (:

2009-11-20T17:48:00.000-08:00

hihihi!!!
hahaha
guess its been weeks since i last posted
zzz
damn sianzzz
im at class chalet now!!!
but nth do
it rsined almost the whole day!
and its like i came totally the wrong day lor
she IS coming
i mean like
its our class u know
i just cant stand it
i know i keep saying this
but i cant help it...
i dont know wat to do
i wanted to enjoy myself
be happy
but it was all ruined...
i cried...
wat should i do...
hai...
all is hopeless...
sianzzz
im a failure
a failure in everything...
anwz bye
gtg le
cos lenard going alr.
using his com.
lol
zzz

2009-10-10T16:31:00.000-07:00

hahaha.
slacking. zzz.
been slacking alot lately
even though its the exams :x
thanks kor.
im really touched by your words...
and BTW that question is not funny
dont ask again le
sorry ._.
anw, what does it mean when someone say
what if oneday i have feelings for you how?
does it mean he likes that person?
omg.
i thought about it the whole night kay...
it's so freaking thought provoking.
BTW, u said u wanted to laminate the letter!
quickly go lah,
and you better take it with you wherever you go
hee hee :P
anyways, found this really meaningful quote :x

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."

( True love never dies, it only gets stronger with time)

2009-10-09T00:39:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!
people!!!
i'm finally back!
so sorry.
it's like so many things happened these days...
just realised i'm such a lagger.
i just signed in online today
and then...
i saw a msg which was sent on 26august.
haha damn lag
omg. it was like saying.
u shld hav said sry for the past few mnths taking a long tym to tel me things
omg. my heart was like aching.
but nvm. i controlled again.
i always control thats why u dunno.
just like today
i saw THEM tgt at canteen today.
then my heart damn hurt.
but. i controlled...
then it was like she used this yan3 shen2 to look at me.
i felt so uneasy. and i just wanted to start crying...
BUT. I CONTROLLED AGAIN.
i always control...
i wonder why i'm always doing that.
i just want to go up to him and tell him what kind of person she is...
but i know i know.
if i say, he wont believe.
and he will think that i'm jealous.
walao.
WTF la.
i'm not okay.
i just dont want you to get hurt.
you know others told me to not care.
but i just cant...
i dont want you to get hurt...
i just hope you can realise it before its too late...
and BTW.
today sucked completely.
compo was like so ahhh.
cant think of anything to write.
just wrote crap to extend the essay.
hahaha.
then the paper was sooo difficult!
my gosh.
then i almost fell asleep during the paper.
sianzzz.
Gonna flung eoy D:

2009-09-13T14:40:00.000-07:00

start of term4 tmr!
ahhh.
that means EOY coming soon lerhs T_T
hmmm.
ppl!
help me think of a way to
move a person's heart lei
like doing sth really
romantic?
hahaha.lol
i will really appreciate your help guys!
yuki!
u said u will help me think...
i think peggy also.
hahaha.lol

pardon me for crapping:X
and i havent finished my holiday hw!
byeee
gtg.do hw:(

2009-08-24T21:28:00.000-07:00

YUKI FTW :D
Hahahaa.
having home ec now :D
which sucks x:
and gladys is doing something uh,
suspicious ._.
gtg.
byeeeee.

2009-08-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

Ahahah.
ouch.
my gum!!!
I extracted two teeth! ahhh!
i making braces! :D
idk wad colour to put lei.
should i put transparent?
pink?
ahhh nvm
think another time.
hahaha
go study chinese le.
sianzzz...

blister blister :(

2009-07-30T19:01:00.000-07:00

yes.i am finally posting again. lols
previously didnt post
coz lazy. lol
today is like siao la
yesterday 2.4
todayPE
tmr napha
sianzz.
think i'm gonna die of exhuastion
n plus my big toe has one big blister
dunno if tmr still can run:(
i aiming for gold! :D

n i was so retarded today.
when i went to order food during dinner
i took a plastic fork when there were metal ones -.-
den
i forgot to take spoon!!!
so
i had to walk back to the counter to take a metal spoon and fork.
walao!
damn dumb la
den my brother was like laughing at me the whole dinner.
walao
so embarrassing lor! T_T

anyways.i'm listening to Cupid's Chokehold now!
hahaha
ba ba da da
ba ba da da
...
haha.
sori for my random-ness :P

'toxic' relationship

2009-07-17T21:05:00.000-07:00

What on earth is happening to me?
I try to wake up
but...
i just cant.
i feel that i'm losing myslef second by second...
i feel useless,
i cant seem to do anything meaningful.
i'm starting to not recognise myself...
i don't want to trust anyone.anymore.
i just want to be alone.
alone...

i realli want to find my way out of this maze
but idk how to.
someone...
lead me the way...

2009-07-14T00:59:00.000-07:00

My gosh. today's the worst day for me, it was just like living hell. we had the EL assignment to do,so we had to blow balloons . when i held the balloons that time, i dunno y the balloons burst. somemore, it was three time in a row! OMG,i was like so damn ps larh. And was not even my fault, then some ppl keep blaming me.

Then when i was eating lunch, jia qi told me sth. and then after she told me, i felt i was cheated or sth, i felt like a total fool, being kept i the dark. do u all even know how i feel?

When i get home, there's this woman waiting to scold me again. seriously, i'm tired of evething. two weeks has passed and i haven gotten over it. i just feel like dying sometimes. i don't think anyone will even cry for me... just feel like sleeping and sleeping and sleeping... forever... my life is meaningless, and i hate myself. i suck. they who teased me were right. i deserve to die...